The Legend of the Dying Man Edit

Once upon a time, a legend was told (probably by someone on chrolophyll)

(deathbead scene)

[Old Father] My son...

[Son] yes? Speak now!

[Old Father] The 2 million emeralds...they are buried in the... in the... uuaakrghhh..

(father stiffens and collapses with a gurgle)

[Son] NO! You can't do that to me! Father! I wanted those emeralds, and the old prune had to die just before he told me!

(picks up a dagger in rage and starts viscously stabbing the old man's corpse. Blood sprays everywhere)

[Old Father] ...I'm not..dead...

[Son] Oh...

(son immediately drops the dagger and tends to his wounds)

[Son] Sorry, the dagger... slipped

[Old Father] I've lost... a lot of blood...but the emeralds..they are buried...aarghhkhh...

(father stiffens and collapses with a gurgle again)

(son pulls out a TASER and jabs it under his neck and pulls the trigger. Sparks fly everywhere and that dramatic theme from the 1987 Superman movie plays at 40 decibels)

[Old Father] ...chlorophyll...

(son immediately pulls a large sack out from under the mattress and gives him a quick sniff)

[Old Father] Ahhh... that's better. i just love the smell of fresh chlorophyll in the morning

[Son] now, pops, the emeralds...?

[Old Father] my son... my dearest son... the light of my life... the hope that banishes -

[Son] yes, yes, get on with it!

[Old Father] the emeralds... they are buried...

[Son] Yes??!

[Old Father] ...I - I... I can't remember. I blame the chlorophyll.

(*son goes into Rage Mode*, father stiffens and collapses with a gurgle)

[Old Father] whispers I'm dead for real this time...

The End!


This guy sure was surprised...

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