“The four most over-rated things in life are champagne, lobster, masacaring 1000 player for no reason and picnics.”
- Lingminging
A Creativian picnic is a satanic ritual often practiced by children and Creativian Leaders to invoke the demon thief, Yogi Bear who is best known for conspiring with the Smurfs to cause the communist television revolution of 1929. Picnics are often organized around wooden altars in public places and are banned in several countries including Exatia.
Origin[]
The Picnic was created by doctor Lingminging when, in a spur of madness, he decided to attempt to bring a
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Yogi Bear about to steal a picnic basket
bear back to life on a public table. His materials were little more than a felt tip pen and a wooden picaxe however he succeeded despite the odds and created what is now one of the most popular television personalities in the world. It is reported by many historians that the bear then stole the basket which ling carried his tools in and then vanished into the woods. Picnics are now held throughout the world on December 25 (often confused with the birth of Christ) to commemorate the act
Ants[]
Any sane person attempting to have a picnic will pack ants. Because of the abundance of food you must bring to a picnic, you will need ants to help carry it for you. Especially the watermellon.
Tools[]
The tools used in modern picnics range from Apple Cores to knifes, however they are always carried in a small basket with a handle and must include a blanket, at least one sandwich and possibly a boiled egg. Enthusiasts are known to weigh the basket down with lead to keep it from being stolen. The greatest asset to a picnicker is his wits. These are most commonly used for singing and looking for one's glasses.
A common song about picnics follows:
| If you go down to the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise. If you go down to the woods today You'd better go in disguise. For ev'ry bear that ever there was Will gather there for certain, because Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic. Ev'ry teddy bear who's been good Is sure of a treat today. There's lots of marvelous things to eat And wonderful games to play. Beneath the trees where nobody sees AM ON CHLOROPHYLL OR WHAT!!!! |
Famous Picnickers[]
Finally - now you can arrange your very own picnic without having to leave the safety of your home! Nature is just full of annoying ants, bees and flies anyway...
Most people are aware that Ranger Smith is a devout picnicker, but there are a number of other well-known closet picnickers in public office, such as George W. Bush, Princess Peach, and Moses. In addition, there are many devotees of the picnic within the entertainment industry, including Matt Smith, Miranda Cosgrove, the entire Sherlock staff, Ronald McDonald, Little Red Riding Hood, and Benedict Cumerbatch.