"Notch is dead"
-Jeb on Notch
"You bet he is"
-Satan....I mean aaa008 on Notch
Notch, (who also goes by the aliases Markus, The Janiter and The minecraft guy to evade debt collectors) is the supreme Holy Lord. He is perhaps best known for creating all of existence, with the exception of Himself, unicorns, Lingminging the Creativian Empire, Big Foot, and anything after he sold to microsoft. He is burdened with the unfathomable responsibility of sustaining the vital equilibria that allow life to continue, such as answering prayers, committing genocide, commiting mass murder, starting wars, ending wars and making stars twinkle. Despite this responsibility, Notch Himself shoehorns these important tasks into the corner whenever an important sports game or horse race is on, as He is the universe's most notorious compulsive gambler.
The First Bet and the creation of the universe Edit
Just before Creation, on the night preceding Febuary 27th, 2001, Notch was sitting at a non-existent table playing a non-existent game of poker with several other non-existent eities. After losing a bundle in the Celestial Poker Game, Jeb, bet Notch that He (Notch) couldn't gather more souls than he (Jeb) could. Notch, being a notorious gambler, instantly took the bet, and the deal was done. According to an account by Archbishop Lingminging, 1.7 religious leader of Covenant, this was widely thought to be a "sucker's bet" as there were no souls to be had. The best Notch could do would be a tie (0 souls to 0 souls), which by the nature of the bet would mean a loss for Him. But the inveterte gambler Notch went to work creating a universe in which said souls could exist and be gathered.
In just six days, Notch created the heaven and the earth, sun and moon, stars, puppies, kittens, death cap mushrooms and fake dinosaur bones. On the seventh day, Notch rested in order to watch football as He had a tenner on the big game. Jeb, on the other hand, got busy collecting souls. This is why Jeb still leads the bet to this day, and why sports teams never pray to him.
Notch starts to lose: Floods world Edit
1537 updates later, Notch was still watching the Creativians vs Exatians football game, when it went to its first ad break. Notch took this opportunity to make a bet with Jeb over who would score the next goal. However, when He looked round, He realized that Jeb wasn't there, but was off collecting souls. This was bad news, as it meant Notch would surely lose the ancient bet. It was time for drastic action.
Notch decided that the only thing He could do now was to kill off all of creation. This way, Jeb would not be able to gather any more souls and increase his lead. Unfortunately, Notch was quite keen on some of the animals He had made, especially the puppies and kittens, and did not want to destroy them. He was also quite fond of the Noah bloke who ran the betting shop in Arc, Creativia. So God had to think of a plan to save Noah of Arc, his wife Joan of Arc, and their family whilst leaving the rest to die.
-More Coming Soon-