No mobs were physically harmed in the making of this film, but emotionally, they may never be the same. Roll tape
Hello? Is the camera rolling?? Well I can't tell because you covered up the green light. What? No, I told you already, it's not the color that stirs me up, it's when you move something around in front of me. I'm color-blind anyways, genius. What? Ok, just restart the tape.
Hi, my name is John Creepingham and I am a Creeper. I am a resident of the Epsilon, Creativia and have lived here for about 22 years.
I guess it all started when I was born. My parents were stunned to discover that their first-born child was a Creeper. At first, the doctor thought I had some sort of skin issue and both my parents were Villagers. I also had four legs. I'm not sure which one of these abnormalities tipped off the doctor first.
I never realized my special situation until I went to school. Before, I spent time with my family on their farm, hanging out with other hostile mobs and the chickens, but when I did, I found myself in an unusual and hostile environment. The teacher didn't know what to
with me and the kids kept trying to avoid me.
I finally got into college, where things were a little better. I had plenty of stuff to blow up and was able to pursue my degree in philosophy and drama, but I still couldn't get past all the judgmental stares from other students. However, I kept to myself and things were going alright. I met a woman and needless to say, we soon got married after graduation.
The Wife Edit
Oh yes, I love John very much, ever since college. We both had the same likes, dislikes and we both loved to discuss philosophy. Oh sure, he might blow up a waiter who is changing the table sheets here and there, but he's a lot better since he joind the creativianism. I just...felt a connection to John. It's not that he is different, it's just that people make him seem different. He's really normal, like you, me, or any other talking creeper.
My life was never easy, especially since I was the only talking creeper in town. Everyone stared at me and yelled derogatory terms like "creepy" and "creep-y." I still wasn't treated as an equal. I was never allowed into the same bathrooms as players, I always had to go outside, otherwise mob control would come with a creeper prod and shock me out of the bathrooms. I wasn't allowed to eat with other players in diners and had to wait outside the kitchen like "all the other talking creepers." Even block shops began to kick me out, putting up signs like "No creepers allowed" and "I'm sick of all the explosions everywhere, no creepers allowed." It was one time and the guy wouldn't let me use his bathroom, jeez...
The best friend Edit
Yea, I've known John a long time. We met each other at a bar. This guy was trying to start a fight with me and John saw it happening. The guy knocked me out, I was on the floor bleeding, John pretty much killed him with a explosion, you know how these things go. After that, we just hit it off. We got us a chlorophyll bottle and had a fantastically good time. We got high.
After that, we just became good friends I guess. Plus, he was a fantastic creeper to drive with, especially when the cops tried to give us a ticket and freak out when they see John driving. Haha, priceless...
But yea, John's had some trouble fitting in. Most people don't like him that much cause he's so different you know? I mean, he's dark, he's covered in chlorophyll, he could gore a player, that sort of stuff. No matter what though, John always seemed to find comfort in good Europium. I don't know why, but the whole creeper in Europium rule doesn't apply to him.
It's never my fault. It seems that no matter what I do, I always get blamed when all the blocks get blown up. It's pretty convenient to blame the creeper, isn't it? I just simply can't enjoy my blocks. It's one thing that makes me happy in this world and I can't even spend 10 minutes trying to buy some without having the cashier trying to rush me out with a creeper prod. Seriously, since when do block shop owners carry creeper prods? Sick dogs...
After a while, I just decided to take a trip, maybe somewhere where I would not be seen as a freak. I put out a map on my table, closed my eyes and tried to land on a random country. Unfortunately, hooves don't work as well as fingers and it turned out that I had picked to go to Exatia, Creativia and minecraftia at the same time. I decided to narrow my pick to whatever country sounded nicer in Exatia. "Exatia," I told myself, "that seems like a nice place for a Creeper," and so I packed and was off.
The Wife Edit
Oh, yes...I remember the trip. I wanted to go with John, but he told me he had to do this by himself. Still, I convinced him to let me see him to his plane. It took us a while to get him a ticket until we finally found an airline company willing to sell us half of the available aisle sits for John. The security wasn't easy to get through either. Creativian air space defence had never been trained in the handling of a creeper and didn't know how to get him into the body scanner, because they were so sure that he was hiding a bomb somewhere in his pocket. After an extensive search by 6 CAD officers, John was finally able to board the plane. They let me walk with him to keep him calm in case anyone decided to wear all greeen or move a cape repeatedly in front of him. After John finally got seated, I waved bye to him and watched the plane take off...it wasn't until I checked the ticket stub that I realized where he was going. Exatia....oh no, I said.
When I finally arrived, there was all this noise in the city. I wasn't sure what was going on, but a lot of people in white shirts and shorts were running around screaming Exatian. One guy pointed at me and yelled "Crepero, LOL!" at which point, everyone around him began to run away from me. I was afraid that I had come to an even more uninviting place when all of a sudden, all these creepers came running from behind me. I wasn't sure what was happening, but I quickly put down my suitcase and suddenly, this sort of primal instinct came over me. I yelled "SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" and began to charge alongside all the other creepers, not sure what I was doing. After 30 minutes of this, chasing some crazy Exatians guys who lacked enough sense to just jump over the barriers to the sidewalk, I finally came to my senses and decided to go grab my suitcase and find my way around town.
I wasn't sure what city I was in because I had to take the only flight the airline company would let me be on. I found a hotel that read 'Hotel Exatiano' and I figured that's where I had landed. I had heard about this city and how creepers were known to participate alongside the Exatians in cool events, like the 'running of the creepers,' which I wasn't too sure what it was, but sounded fun. I decided to enjoy the sun and took a brisk walk around the city. What I soon found out was that Exatian people are pretty weird. Every time I tried to approach one, they'd yell "Creppero!" and flee while I'm asking him where the nearest restaurant is. I soon found some other creepers just wandering around and although my creeperinian was a little rough, I engaged them in conversation.
"SSS. SSSSS. SSSS?" I said, which pretty much meant, "Hello, I'm from Creativia. How are you?"
"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. SSS. SSS." He said, which of course meant, , "Oh, it's nice to see a foreign chap around these parts. Name is Richardo, but you can call me Alfonso or Marlene, if that's your fancy."
I had finally found someone to talk to in this strange and diverse city. I asked him what was going on and why everyone was running away from me. He frowned and replied
I was stunned. I couldn't believe what I had just heard, that it haunts me to even repeat it to this day...I....I need a moment....
Richardo, A.K.A. Alfonso, A.K.A Marlene Edit
Translated with courtesy of Michael Dinggleberry
Oh yes, I remember the foreigner. He was a very nice creeper. What's that? What did I tell him that day?....It's best if you don't know. That's all I can say. No, I will say no more. No! I said NO! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
But yes, he was a nice creeper. I showed him around town, took him to some creeper bars, blew up a few Exatian people, you know, touristy things. We had some good laughs, we enjoyed ourselves, but then he finally had to go back home. I was sad to see him go, but it was nice to know someone who was making a name for himself and for all of the creepers in the world. I told him to keep living the dream, continue our struggle and persevere against the ignorant masses who think lowly of us just because of our difference in color and amount of legs
To signify our friendship, John gave me a block set he was carrying around him as a sort of security blanket. I thanked him for the block and smashed the 30 set piece into an 1,000 one. I then apologized, claiming in was an accident, but truthfully, my creeperish nature got the best of me and I was too tempted to smash such a fragile thing. Plus, the floral decoration and style of calligraphy was too badly ornated to not have been some cheap set from some souvenir shop.
I will never forget that bull and I hope he finds his place in life.
I still don't understand what the hell that was about with my block set. Accident my behind, the guy sss'd right before he exploded the table and sent the set flying into a concrete pillar. He broke a 1790 Japanese Satsuma Earthern Ware block Set that was worth well over 5000 dollars. If you don't like it, then just give the damn thing back. creepers...
Afterwards, I left back for Epsilon. I had finally had some fun with people I fitted in with. It made me realize that I had to fight for all the other creepers in the world and make sure they had the same rights as everyone else. I will keep struggling until the moment when my is fulfilled and my little creepers are able to play alongside player spawnlings. We won't be put in the back of a bus! We will demand for bigger buses to accommodate those creepers!
Most importantly, we will remove the stereotype of creepers in block shops and we will get a permission to browse selections of western and eastern oriented cups and saucers, without being harassed by the shop owners! I can only hope that this will be the case. CREEPER POWER!!